Becoming More Attractive Using Nonverbal Communication

It should come as no surprise to learn that how well we communicate can have enormous influence on our attractiveness to others. However, it is important to remember that much of human-to-human communication consists of nonverbal cues. Body language is perhaps the single most famous example of such cues, but other examples include but are not limited to tone, touch, and even spacing. In short, if you are interested in improving your communication skills for the purpose of attracting potential partners, you need to focus on both verbal and nonverbal communication.

Here are some examples of how mastering nonverbal communication can make you more attractive to other people:

• Maintaining eye contact in the course of conversation is an excellent method for showing that you are interested in the other person. In contrast, failing to maintain eye contact by looking away too much can make you seem as though you are either distracted, searching for an exit, or even attempting to conceal your real feelings. None of which can be considered a positive when it comes to a face-to-face conversation. That said, make sure not to maintain eye contact so much that it becomes a stare. Most people find that more threatening than intriguing.
• Likewise, mirroring the actions of the other person is another excellent method for showing interest. For example, if the other person is leaning in, then be sure to reciprocate. This is important because mirroring his or her actions shows that you are empathetic to him or her, something that makes for a stronger connection. However, like maintaining eye contact, mirroring the other person move for move is more frightening than reassuring, meaning that it should be used in moderation.
• It is interesting to note that mirroring the other person in a conversation is natural for us. For example, if you are tense throughout conversation, then the person with whom you are speaking will tense up to match you. As a result, you should maintain a relaxed posture to make him or her feel more at ease in your company. Generally speaking, you can do this by adopting postures that take up more space, with examples ranging from holding your arms not so close to your body and standing up in a straight but relaxed stance. Otherwise, you risk coming off as guarded, particularly if you have your arms crossed in front of your chest.

• When you choose to smile can determine the light in which you are seen. As a rule, you need to smile throughout the conversation to make yourself seem as though a positive person. However, if you smile at everything that is said to you, you run the risk of seeming insincere. Your best method for combating this problem is to react in a natural manner by smiling when it is appropriate to smile. Similarly, when you are meeting someone for the first time, make sure to look at them before you let your face break into a big smile. Smiling before you even see the other person can seem plastered, not least because it would be plastered rather than a natural reaction.
• You should give the other person in the conversation your complete and undivided attention. Make sure not to fidget and make other small movements such as shaking your legs and tapping your fingers because they make you seem nervous. Instead, try to slow down your movements so that you seem calm, confident, and in complete control of the situation.
• That said, you should feel free to use your hands to add emphasis while you are communicating verbally. Overdoing it can make you seem over-excited, but using exactly the right gestures at exactly the right moments can provide your words with some much-needed flourish.
• If you intend to practice your non-verbal communication, remember to do so in front of a mirror. Seeing what you are doing can provide you with on-the-spot insight into how you can tweak your nonverbal communication to perfection.

These are but some examples of how nonverbal communication can influence your attractiveness to potential partners. If you are daunted by the scope of the task before you, remember that no one is born knowing all of these things. Instead, with this as with other things, practice makes perfect.