How To Get Un Single: Tips For The Shy Gal

Dating is daunting for even the most confident and outgoing individuals. If you are a bit (or a lot) on the shy side,  meeting new people is at best uncomfortable, and at worst, a prospect that makes you want to crawl into a hole and let the rest of the world happily go about pairing up. However, with a few practical tips, even the shyest of gals can conquer their dating fears and successfully get un single.

Ask plenty of questions

If you don't feel at all comfortable going on and on about yourself, shift the focus to the person you are out with. Ask questions and genuinely listen to what he has to say. By giving him an opportunity to do a lot of the talking, not only will you learn if he shares the same values and hobbies, but he will know that you take an interest in who he really is. It will remove some of the pressure until you feel more at ease, while also allowing the other person to feel listened to and appreciated.

Keep a mental list

Sometimes it's hard to find topics of conversation, especially if you and your date aren't really "clicking." If you're shy and find talking to a cute guy terrifying in and of itself, it's handy to have a list of potential topics in your head that you've thought about before the date started. It's probably a good idea to avoid issues that tend to make people angry or defensive (i.e. politics, religion, etc.) so keep it light and easy. Talk about that exciting baseball game that was on last night, or your pet cat Scruffy, or the best vacation you ever went on. If you choose varied topics, at least one of them should uncover some common ground between the two of you. Whatever you choose, preparing them ahead of time will ensure that they actually work their way into the evening, and not stay locked in your head until you are driving home, thinking, "WHY didn't I mention (great topic) or (another great topic) when we were at dinner?"

Dress for success

If you don't normally wear a mini, super low-cut, cheetah print, spandex dress and four-inch stilettos in your everyday life, odds are it is the wrong choice of outfit for your date, no matter how sexy you look in it or how many times your friend convinced you that it would be a crime not to wear it. You need to wear something that you feel comfortable in and that is really "you," or you'll wind up feeling even more self-conscious. Go with your gut and it will lead you to the right ensemble that will look good, feel good, and allow you to be yourself.

Stay in your comfort zone

It's great to try new things, and new experiences can certainly make for a fun and memorable date. However, if it's a first date or the beginning of a potential relationship and you're still feeling timid, try participating in activities that are familiar to you and have less potential of making you feel awkward or foolish. If you are shy about dancing, go grab some dinner instead of hitting a night club. If the thought of wearing a swimsuit makes you cringe, suggest a picnic and a walk instead of a day at the beach. Once you have gotten comfortable with your guy and the shyness has evaporated, you can go back and try all those crazy date ideas that no longer seem so scary.

Practice makes perfect

Dating is hard. If you're a shy girl, it is downright challenging. But as with any difficult task, once you do it over and over, it becomes easier, more natural, and something you might even enjoy. Don't worry if every first date doesn't end in a moonlit stroll and a marriage proposal. If a date happens to go badly (and for most of us, it will at some point), chalk it up to experience and a good practice session. You'll be more comfortable and confident on the next date, and even more on the next, and still more on the one after that. You can do this!

For other ways to achieve dating success, contact us! We're here to provide the tools to help you get what you desire in every social situation.